Sunday, October 5, 2014
When I post photos on my social media pages (Deviant Art, Facebook, Twitter, and Vampire Freaks) from my recent shoots or cosplays I've done in the past, people are mostly cool and respectful, because they know that the sharpness of my tongue is quite legendary and they had best not mess. While the majority of the comments are tame or rather expected, I see a lot of ignorance seeping out of the woodwork. It occurred to me just how many assumptions people make about cosplayers, and just how incredibly incorrect they are. I’m going to address a few of those. Here's five big ones that I'd like to cover.
Assumption #1: "Cosplayers want to be hit on, ogled, or fetishized. Otherwise, why would they wear what they do!?"
This attitude is so prevalent, even among other cosplayers. This is slut-shaming at its finest. The assumption that someone is “asking for it” by dressing a certain way. If you've somehow managed to exist on Deviant Art, Facebook, Twitter, Vampire Freaks, the internet, and the planet in general without being aware that this attitude is considered wrong. Allow me to direct you to some important information on the subject. The bottom line: No one is ever “asking” to be abused, harassed, hit on, fetishized, or otherwise treated as a sexual object. With the exception of the person in question actually walking up to you and saying: "Please sexually harass me. You can touch my boobs. Grope me all you want. Do you want to take souvenir pictures of my ass?" It's never okay to assume that they want any kind of sexual attention from you, or anyone. Period.
And sure, there are plenty of male characters who wear nothing but a pair of briefs. But somehow, it’s not considered slutty or attention-seeking for guys to dress like that. They’re not “asking” to be sexually harassed just for having a body that they were born with and allowing it to be visible.
Well, I could continue on about this topic for ages, but that’s not what this entire piece is about. Let’s move on to the next assumption.
Assumption #2: “You guys have no lives. Get a job or something, and stop spending all of your time on this.”
For some odd reason, people seem to think that all cosplayers are useless leeches who mooch off of their parents, guardians, or relatives and don’t have jobs, school, or anything “better” to do with their time than dress up like their favorite heroines, superheroes, villains, or characters in general.
How do you think we support this hobby of ours? Of course we have jobs. We're adults with responsibilities just like anyone else, and we have no more spare time than anyone else. We just choose to spend it differently. Instead of spending our time and money at the bar or a nightclub, we work on costumes (or sometimes, work on costumes and then go to the bar or club as a reward). Everyone has some type of hobby that they enjoy. This is ours. So no, we don’t have “too much” time on our hands. Most of us would argue that we don’t have nearly enough.
Assumption #3: "So, this is like, a sexual thing? Like a fetish? You guys are kind of like furries, right?"
No disrespect to the furry community here, but people often associate their community with intense sexual undertones (or overtones…or tones in general). And for some people within the community, that’s certainly the case. For some people in the cosplay community, that’s probably true as well, but only a very small percentage of cosplayers do it for sexual reasons. If you ask the vast majority of cosplayers if they’ve ever had sex in their costumes, their answer is going to be “Hell no! I spent way too much time and money on that to risk it getting torn or stained!” People cosplay for a multitude of reasons, but it’s very rare because they’re turned on by the idea of strutting around for hours in a skin-tight, sweaty, pleather or spandex onesie. While superhero and villain costumes are frequently sexy, and yes, nerds do have sex, it’s generally not the prime motivator for cosplay, and it’s almost never an actual fetish. Most people don’t even know the real definition of fetish.
Basically, this analogy sums it up: There are people who are turned on by the sight of a woman’s feet in heels, but not every woman who wears heels is doing so because she’s turned on by it or wants to attract those kinds of people. Some people just like wearing heels. Same goes for cosplay. Yes, cosplay porn exists. No, Anime Expo, Comic Con, etc isn't one giant four-day orgy. Moving on.
Assumption #4: “You have to be in perfect shape or a super hottie in order to cosplay. I’m too short/tall/skinny/fat/ugly/old/etc.”
The short answer to this question: No... just no.
The long answer: There are people of every age, gender, nationality, religion, size, shape, thereupon who cosplay. Literally anyone can do it. Never ever let your gender, race, or weight stop you from cosplaying. Never let anyone tell you that cosplay is about looking good or being exactly what the anime had in mind. If you want to do a head-canon version of a character, do it and have fun. That's what it's all about.
It legitimately does not matter at all. Can it be nerve-wrecking getting suited up for the first time, worrying that people are going to judge you? Absolutely. But if anyone tries to give you shit, kindly direct them to me, and I will give them a piece of my mind. It won’t be a good piece. After you take the first plunge, you’ll be surprised how much fun you have, and how little anyone else cares about what you perceive as imperfections or flaws.
Assumption #5: “Cosplayers are judgemental bitches. If you're not pretty enough, popular, or your costume isn’t up to par with their view or standards, you’ll be shunned. It’s just like high school.”
I can’t begin to tell you how misleading this is. I've met some of my absolute best friends through this hobby and have gained a second family seems like.
This community is awesome. Yes, it has crappy moments. There are assholes, elitists, and sexist douche bags. But for every jerk being a dick, there are plenty of people waiting to take you into their fold, make you feel comfortable, and at home. Don’t focus on the negativity, focus on the positives. We're all nerds here. We all know what it’s like to feel shunned and alone, to be awkward and uncomfortable in your own skin. Cosplay is about getting past all of that. If you’re hesitant or nervous about trying it, don’t be. Just take that step forward and jump right in. Trust me, the first time someone asks for a picture, wants a hug, or squeals and fangirls/fanboys over your costume because they love the character and see you as a hero in their eyes, you’ll realize what you've been missing.
